i’m just going to throw some random thoughts out. feel free to not read on…

• this is the first time in my life that i am actually in love with my body. (seriously, you really don’t have to read the rest). i’ve always been rail skinny. i know this. thank you to everyone who feels the need to remind me, “you’re so skinny!” hi, i’ve lived with myself for the last 20 years. i know i don’t have much skin on my bones. but you know what i am? i am healthy. i have a body that people would kill for. i don’t have cottage cheese on my butt. i’m coming around to the fact that i have non-existent boobs. i really just don’t give a damn anymore! i feel beautiful today. i have someone who tells me i’m beautiful all the time. isn’t that all that matters? i love this feeling. (i’m done being vein now, guize.)
• work sucks. let’s cuddle. seriously, that’s really all i want to do right now. less than one month left of my internship, and i will be on my way to the CA. this summer has been pretty uneventful and stale, though i do have to say i’m getting better at this whole distance thing. i don’t cry myself to sleep every night. (rewind to summer 2010). yikes.
• speaking of, have you ever felt so much for someone that your heart literally aches when you’re not with them? the feeling’s somewhere between a heart attack and being punched in the throat. sobbing may ensue. i’ve learned to not be mad at myself for feeling this way. it just happens, i guess. 
• babies. i’ve had two dreams in the span of a month detailing the account of me giving birth to a precious baby boy. good thing was, labor didn’t last long. on a serious note, this really freaks me out. obviously consciously (and unconsciously) i want to be a mom, but i don’t want to be thinking about it when i’m 20 years old, ya know?

i fail, usually, at writing down my thoughts so they are coherent to people who don’t have direct access to my brain. the usual “cryptic messages” as Jenna calls them will probably be back and a more common occurrence than the one you just read. 

(i realize probably no one will read this anyway, so i don’t know why i am even addressing the reader as “you” when it will most likely be just me when i get around to reading my entries someday.)